You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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