I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
