Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
