margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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