ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
