i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize