Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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