You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
