bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize