He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
