Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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