Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
