Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
