who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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