I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
