yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
