you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
