found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
