we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
