NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
