Do vagina's smell?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
