Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
