Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
