no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
