The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
