please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
