Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
