two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
