going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
