Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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