I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I smell stomach acid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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