ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
