One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
