Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
ttyl tear gas
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
