Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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