the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize