Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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