That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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