honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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