Taylor Swift is so right about you.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
