so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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