Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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