Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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