sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
they're like a gay fantastic four
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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