I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
