There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
