I cannot find my penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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