guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
