I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize