yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
