I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
