Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize