no, he came in my armpit
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
