Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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