was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
