I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
