i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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