Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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