he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
