Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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